A space to grow.


Mitch and Lewis, two dudes. Always down to chill and act more stupidly. They just really want some recognition. Take note.. you have been recognized.

Lyrics from the song of my summer 2009. Still relevant.
"The closest thing to me at heart, is the furthest thing away to touch"

My optimism is simultaneously the most difficult and rewarding thing about me.

My head is so fucking clouded. Second guessing everything. I've never felt stupid for being optimistic, but right now I feel like fool. How wonderful, how fucking great would it be if something changed. Just once.

You can only hope for the same thing for so long, sometimes its just too hard to keep forcing yourself to swallow feelings that want to consume you. I will never escape this. Trapped.

When it rains it pours.
No...when it rains its a fucking monsoon destroying everything in its path.

Consisted of me playing with sparklers with two of my best friends, results shown below.

The worst feelings are the ones you have no control over. The ones that you have no understanding of. The kind of feelings that you would do anything to get rid of or forget about but they cling to you like a fucking vine. The type of feeling that consumes your entity and affects everything you are. Do you lose yourself to it or do you try and push away what your mind won't let you forget. Better yet, are you stronger if you forget it or embrace it?
Suppose some of these things just take some time to pass, or maybe they never do and they change everything thing you ever believed to be true up to that point.
Maybe all you can do is follow your gut, because thats the realest thing you have. It is either your last choice or your lost chance. Fuck it.

Spending time with old friends is the best. On a side note.. I got season three of dragon ball z. I'm just going to go ahead and have a little marathon in my basement. THAT is what I call a good Saturday night :)

"With you I have zero strength, theres no limit on how far I would go, no boundaries no lengths."

I am so beyond excited to spend time with one of the greatest friends I have ever had the opportunity of meeting. SO excited :).

I like to drive and to boogy. Combining the two however........that doesn't work for me.

My best friend has officially started designing my first tattoo! I've been thinking about about what I wanted for a long time, and I've finally settled.

Dream-catchers (? spelling) are significant to me in so many ways. The most prominent reason for me getting this tattoo is so I never forget to pursue my dreams. Although Dream-catchers usually represent the catching of nightmares etc, the tangled web and colours represent more beauty to me then anything else. There is nothing more beautiful, and nothing that means more to me then staying true to myself and never forgetting or giving up on my dreams.
I know a lot of people think its dumb to get a tattoo at such a young age because you will "grow out of it" meaning you won't like it ten years from now. Thankfully I am not trying to please the me ten years from now, this represents me as I am right now, and what is significant to me at this particular time in my life. If the me ten years from now is so lame that I stop liking my own (meaningful) body art...then future me sucks.

.. Hopefully we'll also be able to work in some lyrics from my favorite band and I can love this tattoo for the rest of my fucking life. Fuck yeah.

I hate everything right now.

Have you ever just wanted to mow the lawn so badly? No? Well... I do, the only thing thats stopping me is...nothing brb mowing the lawn.

My turn.

Its the coolest thing when you go to sleep feeling shitty, but then have the best dream ever and wake up stoked. That was my night last night. What a blasty blast.

The only thing that matters. The only thing that ever mattered was following my heart. I intend to do just that.
Never give up on what you heart wants, who your heart wants.

I bet I'm not number one on your list to kiss, but please understand.

"Don't be so amazing or I'll miss you too much"

I wish there was a more elegant way of saying I miss you.
But for a lack of a better phrase,
I miss you.

I actually have put so much time and faith into my dream board. Out of all of it there is one that stands out to me, and I will make the same wish a million times until it comes true. And if it doesn't.. then I don't know what.

Quit or persist...

My heart is going to fucking implode. I do this to myself.

Persistence. Without it I have nothing I suppose.
I want something, and I will never give up on it. That doesn't mean I have to be ruthless, it means I can wait, it means I can be hopeful. It means I will wait, and that I'm okay with that, even if it is difficult and there are days that I think otherwise. Good things are always worth the wait.

"I watch as the light slides across your face, highlighting every skin cell, showing only good as my mind airbrushes away the blemishes of youth and the hardness of your crystal blue eyes. My mind focuses my eyes to see only you, building you up and creating a relationship that nether of us will ever experience. I live for the moments when your eyes gaze at me unintentionally. For weeks that turn to months I live with you, glazed over my pupils. I fall asleep hoping that your mind strays to me. I see you in everything."

We are so fucking young. I won't settle down until my body stops working.
You can disagree, relationships end, friendships end, everything ends. But who and what matters most remains unchanged. Thats what matters. Following your heart matters. I'm not afraid.

Need to get out of this funk. Serious.

I think today I'll just take it easy, stay positive, add on to my dream board. And smile, through everything.

"I was always in a way just a long shot, I was never in the clear of that. I am lucky just to be a potential. But I will always make a mess of that. "

i wouldn't mind a kick in the face right now...or a hug, whatever comes first.

Forget it. Chasing the unobtainable will get me nowhere. Too far gone. I fucking suck.


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