A space to grow.


I put my heart into everything I do. Nothing less, ever. Proving myself until my last fucking breath. Fight until forever.

Two wrongs do not make a right. But two negatives make a positive.
That is how I look at the hurtful things that are done to me. I will not be brought down for long. Because something good comes out of the bad, always. You can try me and test me, but you will not break me. Never give up, always smile. Optimist.

I found a quote that can quite literally sum up everything I want to do and be. Simple.
"I want people to feel an immediate happiness

and cheerfulness when they are around me, to make a difference in someone’s life.
I want to make an impression in someone’s life,
so that even though I may be delicate and fragile,
my footprints are permanent
within the hearts of the ones I've touched.

When "I miss you" is said to me, it sometimes can also be loosely translates into "I'd like to use you briefly, so I'm saying 'I miss you' so I have an excuse" Make sense? because it doesn't make much to me..

I think I am more misunderstood then I thought. I am passionate, inspired and loyal. But I will never stop trying to better myself. I want to be the best possible person God will allow me to be.

I honestly hope that I am a good person in other peoples eyes. I know everything is about perception. What is black to you, is white to another. I do not want to be perceived by someone as something I am not...

The support that I've been getting from my friends has been really fucking cool. There is nothing like knowing there are people who want to help you, and who want you to succeed.

There needs to be more kind people like that. I hope you never forget that one act of kindness goes a long way. You have no clue what kind of wars the people around you are fighting against themselves or behind closed doors. Try being nice. Just try it, I promise you your life will be a lot more fulfilling.

Kind words and kind actions can change the world. Think about that.

I need more confidence if I want to get anywhere with anything.

Positive thinking results in positive results, fact.
I made a dream board, it basically consists of the things I want to become, where I want to go, what I want. It is quite literally my 'dreams'. Its sweet and really personal, and I am so happy I made one. Besides that, I applied for a job at Jade Garden (Chinese food) about three hours ago, and I just got called back for an interview. I want to sing, so happy.

We are so young, but scared as fuck. Scared to live our lives, to wear what we want, listen to the music we want and to say what we want. Wear what you like, even if that means you wear nothing at all. Play the music you love as loud as you want and sing your heart out. Stop biting your tongue and say exactly what you mean. You don't need to sugarcoat your words to be accepted. Go out on a Monday, forget about school the next morning. Forgive who you hate. Smile more. Live recklessly. Fall in love, or don't. Do what makes you smile. Follow your heart, and fuck what anybody has to say about it.

I'm going to make something of myself, for me.

I could use a change of scenery. I think everybody could. We teach ourselves to be satisfied with sub-par things.Why? Are we going to be just "Ok" for the rest of our lives? We are so consumed with pleasing everyone around us, we completely forget about & neglect ourselves. Fuck that. You are the master of your own future. Why concern yourself with the (negative) opinions of others? You were given your own body, and your own mind. Do whatever makes you happy. Whatever it may consist of. Call me cliché but life is what you make it, I will follow my heart over my head, any day.

"I am not alone, because I live inside a world that is my own. I haven't found what I've been looking for yet, but you can count on me to stay forever."

Michael says:
*taaaalk too meeee (:
*look down you shirt and spell ATTIC
dare. says:
Michael says:
*do that
*look down your shirt and spell ATTIC
dare. says:
*lmao your an idiot
Michael says:
*so funny!

I do not want to write a blog right now. 20+ degrees out side, 81 degrees inside, and a massive sun burn on my back/shoulders. Get it?

Have you ever had the feeling like you were going to explode? In any way, Good or bad. You were just so passionate about something, or someone that in that moment you were overwhelmed with so many different emotions, you could just explode. I remember feeling that way, and I miss it. I want to be reintroduced. Feeling that way made every second of my stupid little life mean something.
Maybe once its gone, you'll never get i back...but I sure as hell hope not.

I vow not to a write a large blog until I remember my idea from last night, or something as interesting (to me). Ok? So instead here is a fun fact about myself.

Fun Fact: The smell of honey makes me sick... No, it literally makes me puke.

I thought about something I wanted to blog about last night, but I forgot. worst.memory.ever.

Young love was such dumb love. Call it what you want it, it was still enough.

I miss you more then I could ever put into words. I need you here with me. Part of me left with you. I don't mind, you were what bettered me.
What I would do to hold your hand again.

I woke up this morning, and my first thought was "everyday were dying, getting closer to our end with every minute"
Now I'm thinking what the fuck. What could possibly possess my mind to think of that the second I awake. Its like my brain is split in two. Positive.Negative. Now its a fucking tug of war. Running on empty.

We live in an over the top society? Over thinking, over analyzing, over working, over reacting.

Sunshine sunshine sunshine. I like being around old friends. I wish I got to see those people more often. Summer is coming. Hope.

On a side note, things are looking up. Finally.

I will live here one day. That is one of my dreams. Fuck you if you don't think I can do it. Mind over matter.

"love holds no record of wrongs."

I wonder why I feel so alone. The world is full of so many good people. Jaded. Hate it.

Today was a good day. I'm dreaming. Ready to go.


We are born to do good. I want to be good, I want to try my best. I was struck with big ideas today.

I was thinking today about my motivation..or lack thereof. My biggest problem is I don't want to lose my downtime. I suppose I really value that time I have to just sit down and do nothing. Contradicting considering I said I want to accomplish things. I just think that when things around me are moving so fast, it is the only way for me to slow down. But I'm beginning to understand that the time I get to unwind will be a lot more well deserved and appreciated if I actually accomplish something beforehand. For something that seems so trivial, it is one of my biggest problems.

fuck. i need a change

I want to go back to last July. It was the month that made my summer incredible. I miss walking the streets of Paris with my cousin listening to acoustic music and feeling nothing but bliss. Last summer was so undeniably perfect. It makes me sad knowing I won't experience something like that again, I wonder if anything will measure up to how I felt then? I think it was real happiness I had then. Comfort.Bliss.Excitement. I was ready to take on the world. I wish I knew what has changed since then. I want to go back. But like I said, wishing never got anyone anywhere. Everything has the potential to be better, that includes myself, my upcoming summer... and so much more.

It has begun! The project I mean, 2/5 finished. WISH ME LUCK

I think I want a new layout for this blog.. who knows. I'm just starting an english cpt that was due today, I don't know why I do that? My motivation lacks in all aspects of my life and I hate it. I don't want to be that way, I want to be motivated and productive, accomplish things. For some reason I don't, which is quite contradicting considering I want it so badly. Constant war against myself.

Frustrated. My thoughts do not mimic my actions. Aside from this, acoustic music on a Sunday full of sunshine is like a dream come true. I wish everything was this simple.

The dangerous summer. Lyrical geniuses in my mind. Without question, one of my favorite bands to listen too, regardless of the mood I'm in.

I would stay

If you could only keep me alive,
I swear that somehow we could find this way to change my life
and help me sing this
Because the rain it hit this town
and washed away half of my faith,
but now I'm ready to feel what I've been feeling
And then the sun it hit my face and made me think
of all the things that made me pray,
like when I stood up all this cocaine hit my heart,
then all the sudden I'm in love
Oh, God it's almost summer

I hope addiction took my heart,
because I'm looking for a hook that could just hold me back
from tearing out these speakers
It's not the sound that drowns me out
but all this doubt that broken me down
You were my friend but now I'm taking you to hell
If you could hold my hand,
you could feel what I've been feeling

I wrote this song for you
It's not the reasons that I left
it's just the ones that kept me hanging onto you
So hold me down to writing letters
like the song said; I'm so much better
When I'm gone you could take your time
because I'm living off this antidote

"So I'll never be a liar, but you'll always be two faced. "

"I smoke I drink I do my thing
I'm living in my own world
and if they hate I let them
Who gives a fuck?
Anyone who know about what I do
I'm living in my own world
I chill back and I
spread peace and love"

I won't elaborate much on this. I'm just going to leave a simple quote to get my point across. It's easier that way, in regards to explaining my literal disregard for negativity from other people.
"I gotta terminate the hate, spread the positive"

I respect peoples opinions on me, good or bad. I am not so self righteous that they are completely shoved from my mind. But I do have to articulate that when people deliberately say (or post..) obscenely rude things to me. I will not consider them fact. Nor will I justify them with a response. Karma will affect you more then my words ever will, and truthfully even though I wasn't asked for forgiveness, I've given it to the anonymous. Hate gets you nowhere.

What do you wish for on 11:11? Or with every fallen eyelash? "Be careful what you wish for" I think about that every time. I think thats why I'm so vague. I don't have anything specific to wish for. Good things. Thats it, it's all I've ever wished for. Weird? Wishing never got anybody anywhere. We need to learn to be happy with what we have. If were not satisfied then we need to take ourselves elsewhere. Action. There needs to be more action.

I'm really digging the feedback I'm getting from people who have been reading. Thank you! Now make a g-mail account and become a follower! (this is for the bold)
The sun was out today. No one really understands how that affects me. Sunshine is free and makes me happy, in the most literal way. I don't ask for much. I want simplicity. Sunshine, flowers, big trees. Simple happiness, incomparable to anything else.

School? Shit. Monday mornings are not my favorite to say the least. I need more sleep. More anything.

It's like I'm speaking in tongues or something. I am going to be better.

Better than me. You deserve better.

I want to set fire to the earth. Burn something beautiful. I need to see the light. I need some light.

Today in religion we were asked to write about who we thought we were. This was kind of difficult for me. I'm at a crossroads right now, I don't know who I am. So what came out was a mixture of my thoughts, who I think I am, what I feel, fears, likes and dislikes and who I want to be. Here goes.

Dara is..Confused. A victim of my own optimism. Loyal. Trapped.Naive. Deep in thought, constant state of dreaming. abandoned. Disconnected. Hopeful.faithful.Doubtful. Blunt honesty. Self loathing. Gamer. Orange juice and ice cream. Afraid of even numbers. Odd, everything is odd. Including myself. Silly. Spiritual. Inside angry, but thankful. Empathetic. Embarrassed. Ashamed. I want to sing every song I love. Change is constant, changing, change me. I see the sun. Sunshine warms my thoughts, not only my body. Happy. My body is a canvas, I want to be painted. Free. Rebellious. Searching, always searching. Blissfully ignorant. Life, burning me out. I want to see the good. Blinded. I want to be alone, most of the time. Want, but hate. I find peace in solitude, along with sadness. Contradicting. Shy. Conflicted. Lost. Still searching, but for what? Is the grass really greener on the other side. I need my grandmother. Paranoid. What do others think? Do I even care? Careless. Indifferent. Maybe thats it. Good or bad. Confined. Sure, unsure. Confused. I want to be free. Explore. Inspire. Make a difference. I want to make someone smile. Be a good friend. Be enough. I want brand new eyes.

Maybe something is wrong with me. Or maybe its just the sunshine. I go from high to low, then right back up again. I think I'm okay with that. Consistency isn't for me. The only constant is change. Existing is so exciting in itself, change me, change me.

I don't know what to say. I'm lost for words truthfully. The night is darkest before the dawn, tomorrow will be better.

Ps. I am super excited to be seeing my best friend, Ash Schieb tomorrow :) She is just one of those people that I need in my life.

You know.. it really gets me when the voices on the commercials don't match the people speaking in them.

I'm second guessing how strong I am. There is only so much one can take. Back against the wall. Can't do more. Too much already.

These walls hold in what I can't.

I am a dreamer. That's okay with me. I want to live in the world I've created for myself in my head. A world that is my own. Nobody can take that from me. I will be happy with myself. Even if I don't know who that is yet. Blurry.Content.
All good things are wild and free.

Sunshine. What more could I ask for?

I'm in Canada! good to be home, but I miss the past week of my life.
New Jersey was full of so many memories, and the ONE day I spent in New York was enough to convince me I want to spend a significant amount of time there one day, not just visit.

I am so fascinated with the human mind and all that it is capable of. Your mind is your best asset, everything in the world good and bad, was generated from a thought. Its crazy to think of things that way.. I'm coming into myself more and more everyday. I know who I want to be, its just a matter of taking myself there, and becoming that person.
There is always room for improvement, and I am ready to better myself. No hate for anybody, I just want to appreciate the life I've been given, and focus on the positive. Maybe one day I can even inspire someone to do something good for themselves, or others. I think that is my ultimate goal. (Corny, cliche, whatever its my dream)

I will quite literally go wherever the wind takes me in life. I don't care if I'm nomadic, live in different countries,provinces, states,whatever. Everything will be beautiful as it always has been. I can live in a shitty run down apartment and eat nothing but ramen noodles. I'm going to make the most of it. Inspired.

Where do I even start? Okay right here, to answer the first question that comes to everyones mind when they think Jersey:
Did you fist pump like a champ? Yes....yes I did

haha, but in all seriousness! Bamboozle was so fucking good. So many great bands in such a short amount of time. We came as romans tore it up though, definitely the best set I was at. Saying that I had a good time there would be an understatement. As if that set wasn't good enough, I got the oppourtunity to meet them in the vip tent, and they were all super friendly and cool dudes, which is always a bonus.

I have was lucky enough to get a lot of sweet merch and spend the lat couple of days with one of my greatest and oldest friends, so this week was pretty great! I'll be posting pictures later woooo

(PS Zoe, when you see this...Weezer Merch was nowhere to be found!, You have full permission to hate on me)

pps. To somebody cute who might read this before I get back, you're great and I can't wait to see youuuu. :)

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